Today I confirmed my decision to not get the COVID-19 vaccine jab at the office tomorrow.
Not because of the jab or our baby but because of the distance to work, the associated fatigue, and our online cake tasting show this weekend.
It’s amazing how now I’m basing almost every decision on how tired I am or could feel afterwards. I never even imagined this should happen to a perfectly healthy person. Not that we don’t take decisions based on our energy levels, but to do so for every decision is amazing!
Lazy… that is what I would call it before feeling this way during pregnancy. Even the time I was on medications that made me drowsy, I’d still be prone to this thought. But now, the world can call it what it wants, even past me has the permission to call it what she wants. To me, it’s a survival skill, just having enough energy to get through the day’s priorities.
Perhaps pregnancy for some teaches us to face our inadequacies not with shame and resentment but with responsibility and resilience.
I am tired, I need a nap, I take a nap. I need to take a nap in a time that involves others, I respectfully excuse myself but not vanish without notice (as much as I can help it, which for me now, is all the time). Someone has an opinion about my nap, well they can have it, I’ll have my nap because I need it not because I want it. As much as I choose things based on my physical limitations, I also choose them to support my mental health. And sometimes that’s why informing others who need to know that I’m away for a bit contributes to it. I honestly may not care half as much or admit that I actually do care that much, but I’m also doing what I’m doing to ensure I’m in my best state when I return to them, if I return to them. And if I’m tired and don’t need a nap, I don’t take it. I just carry on, or take a short break, or put my feet up. Physical, Mental, Social and Spiritual health all matter to me now. Yes… spiritual… I don’t plan to break God’s laws in my self preservation which means if it comes to excusing myself for a nap, I do so in love and respectfully.
It’s been an interesting day. But this pretty much sums up my motives today. Pregnancy has humbled me in beautiful ways I didn’t even imagine possible, even in the need for a nap or a vaccine jab.
5:30pm
- Pregnancy Diaries || Thursday, 17th June, 2021 || 15 weeks, 2 days
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