We don’t know
If I have COVID or not
If I contracted it at work yesterday or not
If a test today will reveal the truth
If waiting till Monday will give a more accurate test result
If I hadn’t contracted it before yesterday
We don’t know
If our lives are safe enough to not ignore precautions
If being careful now is useful
If being careful now is even necessary
If this semi isolation is worth anything
I don’t know
If you understand, Naa Ameley
What’s in your mind when you stare at me with disappointment
If you can appreciate why I won’t pick you up, lay by you, keep your life the way it used to be
If you can bear with me when I hand you the sanitised bottle instead of the breast
I don’t know
Who I’m really protecting
Who may be protected because of these precautions
If all this isn’t useless “draconian”
If all this is what I’d be super grateful I did
I don’t know
If this will affect my milk production
If this will burden everyone else more than imagined
If this semi-isolation is worth it
We don’t know
If I would need to rebuild our relationships after the test
If Grandma is safer because of all this
If you are safer
If our at risks are safer
We don’t know
But we do know
We will try
We may cry
We will do our best
And we love each of you
Each of us
Including you
Our Naa Ameley
And this temporary scare
Won’t change that
That we more than just know
We’re absolutely confident of it
And we thank God for His grace not to know
And yet still trust Him alone
As we walk in faith
In all the steps we take
That we do know, absolutely!
5:15am
1st Baby Diaries || Friday, 10th June, 2022 || 6 calendar months, 16 days
