My Pride, My Worry

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to take Him at His word

My pride says to me,
"No, it's not!"
 My pride says
"You must plan
And have it all together
You must know where you're heading
Where you are and where you're going"

She says
"You can't achieve it without being 100% sure"
She says
"You must have the blueprint
And know what will happen
You can not be less than 100% sure
and expect it all to work out"

What she means is
"There is no benefit in trusting Jesus
You can't be silly enough to take Him at His word, can you?
He is not enough to trust
He can't be trusted to handle your future
You can NEVER relax in the God Who knows the beginning from the end and everything in between
Does He really know even???
And does He have the power to orchestrate the future even if He does know??"

She means
"You don't need God
Because God leaves You unsure
And unsure = Insecure
Insecurity = Disaster
Disaster = Miserable"

Now Pride allows Worry to step in
She allows Worry to take a seat
And Worry feeds on Pride's words
First with water
Then with a soft drink
Then with shitɔ
She asks for ketchup
Then she demands desert
And before she gets up
She wants the next meal

And Pride willingly feeds her
She spoils her rotten
And is glad to do so
Because Pride would sooooo do anything
That will oppose the Will of God

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to take Him at His Word

Worry becomes fat
And becomes more and more troublesome
Worry refuses to budge
But only feeds more and more on Pride's words
The blueprint is never finished

It is only useful for making me blue
And I cry
And I weep
I lose my temper at the slightest whim
And get frustrated
I turn away from the Saviour
And fix my life on my own

But how is it possible???
How can I fix myself and my future when I am sooo fallible
Without my God
My Lord My Lord
Please come and help me
Save me from this
I am at my wit's end!!!

and call upon me in the day of trouble;
    I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.

Psalm 50:15 (ESV)

I feel the tune seep in 

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

I see my Saviour and let Him in

I unbolt the doors that Pride has locked

I am bruised and cut 

Pride attacks with her words

She tries to confuse me with her screams

She hits me hard and pushes Worry, weighing tonnes, over me

I cry out in pain

But 

Refuse to stop now

I am dying here

I want out

I want them both out!!!! 

Jesus save me!!!

Lord help me!!!

I can't sack them on my OWN!!!

and call upon me in the day of trouble;
    I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.

Psalm 50:15 (ESV) 

I hear a noise from afar

A thundering noise outside my door

My Saviour is within and without

He smashes the gates

He binds up Worry

And gags Pride

He puts them in a Tipper truck

And drives them far away

Dumps them, where?

I don't care *giggling so hard now*

Why worry about them

When It is 

Soooooooooooooo sweet to trust in Jesus

Just to take him at His word

And He says to me

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world

John 16:33 (NIV) 

 

He knows the future

He will take care of me

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

Just to take Him at His word

Glory Glory GLORY

Glory to God alone!!!

Hallelujah




 And what about you?

Yes, you ...

What are you going to do about your Worry and Pride???

Definitions of Possible Unfamiliar words
Shitɔ: A Ghanaian hot sauce often made with oil, pepper, onions, ginger, ground dried herring and shrimp, and salt

Weird? No, just broken so I can grow...

I remember being guilty, so guilty I could not do anything about my sin. I would cry about it, pray about it, and do nothing about it. I would be exhausted and continue in my aimless work. Then I learnt that guilt hinders... So what did I do? I went to the other extreme: I was brazen faced and overconfident!!!

The Bible talks about brokenness... the way I missed... I read about it, but was always in a hurry to ever live it, but in the end never really lived it. I wanted to get over my sin and be done with it, wasting no more time... No wonder I came back to it. I refused to be broken. And because I was not broken, my pride remained and drew me back to my sin... 

My pride was there from the beginning. In my self pity and guilt spree, she was there... telling me if I were guilty enough, I would be fine... in my shameless confidence, she was there saying if I was forceful and indifferent enough, I would be free... And I believed the lie...

David talked in Psalm 51 (NIV):

For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

 ¹ Have mercy on me, O God,
   according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
   blot out my transgressions.
² Wash away all my iniquity
   and cleanse me from my sin.

 ³ For I know my transgressions,
   and my sin is always before me.
⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned
   and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
   and justified when you judge.
⁵ Surely I was sinful at birth,
   sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
⁶ Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
   you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

 ⁷ Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
   wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
⁸ Let me hear joy and gladness;
   let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
⁹ Hide your face from my sins
   and blot out all my iniquity.

 ¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
   and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
   or take your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
   and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

 ¹³ Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
   so that sinners will turn back to you.
¹⁴ Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
   you who are God my Savior,
   and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
¹⁵ Open my lips, Lord,
   and my mouth will declare your praise.
¹⁶ You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
   you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
¹⁷ My sacrifice, O God, is^[b] a broken spirit;
   a broken and contrite heart
   you, God, will not despise.

 ¹⁸ May it please you to prosper Zion,
   to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
¹⁹ Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
   in burnt offerings offered whole;
   then bulls will be offered on your altar. 

I refused a pruning, what I really needed.... I either starved myself to get rid of the excess branches or pumped myself with fertilizer to increase my fruit yield. Both ways I was killing myself. 

I could not impose brokenness, I needed the Perfect Gardener to prune me, and pruning hurts!!! It exposes my pride, calls a spade a spade and not a big spoon. It reveals my need of Him... uncovers my foolish thinking and my wickedness in every guise. I just needed to yield myself to Him, and ask Him to break me. Now I refuse to leave His presence unbroken.... I will not leave in a hurry this time, in useless tears or foolish confidence... I will wait for Him, cry to Him, "Break me, Lord! Please break me Lord or I can not grow.... I will either grow sick or stunted till You break me, Lord!!!" 

So if, per chance, you see me or any other Christian in broken tears before our Lord, in persistent need before our Lord, in resilient kneel before the cross where our Saviour bled for us, where my OWN sin nailed Him and caused Him such agony, and you deem it unnecessary or weird... I am, we are allowing ourselves to undergo pruning that we can never do ourselves. We are availing ourselves to be broken by the Perfect Potter... We are subjecting ourselves to the necessary pain that brings true productiveness... We are choosing to grow according to His Word, not ours of ease.... definitely not mine of ease: satisfying my defunct conscience or ignoring my wrong. We are praying not to be deceived but relieved. We want our God to take over and get rid of our nonsense, willingly bearing His chastening rod under His ever loving hand, letting HIM have His way, not creating our own. We are crying to the loving Lord to be broken, so we can grow....

And you...???

Yes, who else...???

What about you...????

Stresses, disappointments: Blessings, Contentment: they just work TOGETHER

I have loved this verse for ages:

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28 (KJV)

I believe I was brainwashed to love it initially: EVERYONE could say it and could use it for any situation, I guess. I heard it so many times I just loved it. But I started loving it MORE when I could say it in direct relation to something I was going through or had been through. Now praise be to God on high that I have fallen in love with it all over again... Do you know why?? I will most definitely tell you, *giggling*, that's why I'm here today... ;-)

At first, and for a long time too, when the verse had become real to me all I often saw was

And we know that ALL THINGS work together for the good of them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose....

Later I noticed the other phrases/clauses:

WE KNOW 

Boosted confidence levels to full tank turbo power!!! Adversities, perceived or real, approaching last position in pleasant speed... *wide smug*

THE GOOD 

Nothing's gonna go bad, even if it looks bad, feels bad, or even smells bad *hm! phew!* It's all in God's marvelous perfect sweet succulent and juicy plan (okay, I must confess I'm a bit hungry now) and it works for my good, my personal good, my family's good, my friends good, the "greater" good and simultaneously to the incredible glory of God too!!!

WHO LOVE GOD, TO THEM WHO ARE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE

That wasn't too pleasant then, especially because loving God didn't mean the mushiness that I felt glowing warmly inside me when I spoke of Him or thought of Him. Come to think of it, I'm glad it didn't since it wasn't a consistent, let alone constant feature in my life anyway. Loving God involved Jesus' explicit definition: 

If you love me, you will obey what I command 

John 14:15 NIV1984

Unpleasant but true, but now I am happy it says so because our God helps us obey Him according to His purpose as in Philippians 2:13:

for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

Philippians 2:13 NIV1984

:) Splendid!!!

But honestly, my greatest recent delight in this verse is the word: TOGETHER. 

Yes, together... just that... one word pɛ! (only one word!)

Why?

Just because before I realised this, to me there were the good things that let us praise the Lord and the bad things that taught us and others lessons about God, us and the relationship He would so love us to have with Him and the things in between that made little, no or great impact on the lives connected to us. Funny enough, the three never worked together in my head. Separate entities with separate missions, or collaborations but never always working together. 

When I realised that they sweetly blend and gel hand in hand my perception of this verse moved from "For the bitter and the sweet in life" to the "For the bittersweet of life to the glory of our good God"; because God works them together. He doesn't just bless us and allow us to stress; he brings a blessing in a stress and a stress in a blessing to groom us, keep us, revive us, renew us, uplift us to His glory alone. We are content in disappointments and disappointed in the securest fortresses of contentment and the two work hand in hand to help us look up to Him in praise, in need of Him, in dependance, in awe, for sufficiency, for provision...

He works ALL together for our good and simultaneously according to His purpose for His glory alone. 

So the next time I am sad or glad, drained or pepped up to the max, and at the other paradoxes of life or the weird but not too unusual blends of the two, I can say with confidence that God works all things TOGETHER for my good. I may thus not undermine His pleasantries or exaggerate His chastening rod, I may just see it as that sweet blend of lime and pawpaw, pepper and onions, food flavouring and flour, mixed local spices and coleslaw, coffee and milk. Bitter, bland, sweet, extremes and similarities: Bittersweet, yes... but the perfect mix always to the glory of God...

And you....??

Yes, you...

What about you...???