You’re doing well

I scribbled a whole lot earlier and fell asleep in the process. It reminds me of Naa now. Tired, exhausted and fussing herself silly, anything but allowing herself to fall asleep. 

It doesn’t take away the magnitude of things that were on my plate. But a nap did wonders. At least, after I was fully awake it did. 

Hunger, sleep, things that change my perspective. I was asked to breathe this weekend, breathe and just be. And allow God to be God as well. Over my life and over my situation. 

I’m at one of those activity peaks now. A first child turning one soon, a new mum in her mid thirties, a new employee in an unfamiliar industry, 2 exams in 2 very new fields to write in the next 2 weeks, absent child support for these same 2 weeks, a lot of work at work, big changes in the family dynamics (dynamics that are older than 20 years), an ongoing visibility promo for Enosua’s heArt, an uncomfortable financial situation for Enosua’s heArt, the economy as it is now… shall I list more?

No need. Because in the spirit of being, I will pause to acknowledge this much: “Girl! You’re doing a lot! And you’re doing well… just so well… past Ofosua should see you now, and future Ofosua should stand proud. Just for “being” alone… see, see what the Lord has done, be expectant of the more He will do.”

God is good, Ofosua. God is good, boss-chick, employee of the past month, mummy dearest, supportive wife, double student, proud daughter, praying sister, citizen of Ghana. 

God is good, Ofosua, and you’re doing well. God bless you. 

22:08

Mompreneur/Sidepreneur  |  Sunday, 30th October, 2022  |  Baby at 11 calendar months, 5 days

“Martha, Martha, Kanban…”

Growing up, I remember struggling to understand these verses from a well-loved story: “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” 

I mean, why on earth would a guest (the Lord) tell a busy host (Martha) this when she only asked him to tell her “distracted” sister (Mary) to help her? I mean how? It was a no-brainer to me. We’re two sisters who have guests, we must make sure everything is in place for the guests to be well cared for in this very moment, but Mary doesn’t do anything but sit by a guest and listen to Him when there’s work to do! 

I could always bear with Martha’s frustration but found it hard to understand what the Lord meant. So I settled with the explanations I was given and eventually made peace with it. 

Till I recently discovered the joy of actually practising Kanban, one of the agile methods, and now these verses take on a whole new meaning from me especially “it will not be taken away from her” 

Kanban as an agile method not only relies on having our “to-do list” arranged in a certain way on a board we can “always” see, but also relies on us focussing on one thing at a time till it is done before moving on to the next priority, only pulling in another priority task to do when the prioritised task a person is working on is done. It’s interesting to read more about it online, please do!

If Mary used a personal Kanban, she would have been focussing on the task important to her: listening to the Lord, a guest Who wouldn’t always be with her but had so much wisdom He could share with her then. 

Now my humorous self can’t seem to get this image out of my mind 😂😂: The Lord saying ever so serenely to Martha, “Martha, Martha, Kanban…” I’m in tickles already! 

When I began using Kanban, I discovered my priority tasks were no longer being “taken away from” me by distractions, seeming emergencies, less important and less urgent things. I was getting things done and done well because I gave myself the permission and the space to focus in spite of everything. Just like Mary. 

And funny enough, I was getting even more things done in a day when I used my Kanban than if I were to run around and do many things at once, start many things before finishing one to move on to the next.

My personal Kanban allows me to:

1. List everything I need to do including the “many things” that leave me “worried and upset” when they aren’t done
2. Prioritise the “few things” that “are needed”, and 
3. Choose “indeed only one” thing to work on. 

If you’re familiar with this Bible story and experienced in using Kanban you may understand the light bulb moment I just had these few days ago after being retrained by IQ business on Kanban amongst other agile concepts. I’m now an absolute Kanban believer!

If you feel you want to understand my lightbulb moment, I’d encourage you to: 

• Read Luke 10:38-42
• Read more about Kanban
• Create your personal Kanban and follow it, and
• Discover your own joy of being more productive so that what’s important to you is “not taken away”. Just like Mary. 

Feel free to send me a message if you get stuck, and I’d be happy to help. 

Enjoy your day! Kanban, anyone?

8:38am

Mompreneur/Sidepreneur || Friday, 21st October, 2021 || Baby at 10 calendar months, 26 days

Intentional

 In the midst of trying to find my feet at my new job, working on Enosua’s heArt whilst working in it, and practically staying afloat, I realised I was neglecting one thing: my family. 

Don’t get me wrong. My husband isn’t abandoned and my daughter doesn’t not know me anymore. But I did realise I had become comfortable working alongside everything! A day with the family was a day with my screens by my family. Breastfeeding Naa meant Naa saw my face less than she saw the back of my device. And now, she was so used to not making eye contact that when she did, she could look on listlessly as if I didn’t exist. 

Our other “twin” baby would barely calm down if he were upset and I tried to console him. Not so for Ariel, the relationship had been built to be different. 

I used to be happy when Naa cried for her Dad instead of me. It was the sound of upcoming relief from minding her. Freedom to get along with other things. 

But now I realise that we do not reap where we do not sow. Even with babies. It’s not Naa’s responsibility at this age to invest in our relationship. It’s mine. And I should invest in the relationship I want to have. What we feed grows, what we starve dies, and I know the road I was on was full of hunger strikes when opportunities to be well fed abound. 

So Naa, now I look into your eyes much more when you breastfeed. I cuddle you close when I can. I shut the laptop for you or move towards you if work has to eat into your time because it isn’t theirs. I pause work for you after working hours, I come at your call to be held, to be fed because it’s your time not theirs. 

I’m more intentional now, because I don’t want to lose you having created that loss. I want to be the change I want to see. I want to be close to you and that starts each day. So I draw close. I’ll invest our time in you. I love you. 

You’re important to me, our relationship is too, the relationship with our family is as well, and now I’ll be more intentional… because I can’t miss this, miss you, miss all this whilst I’m right here. 

Intentional… 

23:45

Mompreneur/Sidepreneur diaries | Monday, 26th September, 2022 | Baby at 10 months, 1 week, 1 day

Me, my business, my baby, me…

After realising my home isn’t being run the way I wanted it to run, I learnt a big lesson today as a Mompreneur and Sidepreneur: no matter how busy I am, no matter how exhausted I am, and no matter  how much I can outsource anything even if that thing is my emotions, at the end of the day, I’m still responsible for taking care of me, my business and my baby the way I want it to be taken care of. 

No one else but me…

I’m responsible for asking God for help and allowing Him to guide and release me… 

I’m responsible for my own rest, down time and sleep hours.

I’m responsible for keeping my daughter fed well at all times and for keeping the quality of my gifting top notch for my clients. Not the supplier, not my family, nor the clients. Me… 

That doesn’t mean I must do all the work, no… but it does mean I should ensure the work is done satisfactorily, with an outcome that doesn’t stress me. That’s my Boss Mum job, not someone else’s. Especially when outcomes are subjective in the hands of others. 

I recently listened to the book, E-myth Revisited: https://www.audiobooks.com/audiobook/e-myth-revisted/34474?refId=40779&gclid=CjwKCAjwx7GYBhB7EiwA0d8oe5rsuF1wFsxqxbFe49RJ-4Y83Hq-wvYmB4CBOWCTxz6NGTw7UfpPLRoCCQEQAvD_BwE)

It’s a book that has useful nuggets for startups, including building systems that make your business run successfully. Funny enough, when I read it, I didn’t imagine myself building systems for my  home as well. But now I do… systems that not only work for my workers, my delivery, my family, my baby but for me too. 

Realising in all honesty today that I couldn’t outsource my meals and go to bed, and still expect our family budget to stay on track or our food to stay healthy, I may adopt the system my mum used so well… a workable menu and a reasonable price list! Wish me luck! 

Realising that a delivery company is giving me heartache, I honestly can’t expect them to make me happy… honestly! I should be the change I want to see and move on to a courier service that does better even if it means it costs more for the priceless peace of mind. That’s my Mom Boss side hustler job, not my service provider’s.

And if I’m truly concerned about my daughter’s skin, I’d ensure she gets to the hospital and not hope someone else would ensure this. If I’m truly concerned I’d do something about it. One hospital visit coming up! 

Some things are really no-brainers when written out and read. But it’s a beautifully humbling experience when you’re faced with the reality of such a no-brainer with some time to actually correct your own flaw… 

And that’s where I am tonight. Such a beautiful place before I fall asleep. Back in the place I should be: increased supervision with any outsourced tasks within a framework that actually works for the desired outcome: a rested responsible with her achieved goals who relies on God for every work, home, side hustle step…

Such a beautiful place to be: of conviction, of repentance, of hope… my baby, my business, me…

10:39pm

Mompreneur/Sidepreneur diaries || Monday, 29th August, 2022

Priority

Tonight I got a call from the hospital; we have to return tomorrow to ensure any red flags from our labs earlier today are put in check. There wasn’t enough info from the labs to say there was a serious issue or a rather benign one. At some point in the conversation, the doctor said, “Oh, please come ooo”. That’s when I caught myself a little distracted by my planning. I was already thinking of what to tell my boss, how we’d meet this very important global deadline at work, how we can still work remotely with the hospital visit tomorrow. No… not at all, I wasn’t even considering not going to the hospital. “Oh no,” I replied, “we are very clear who the priority is, she’s priority, always. We’ll be there tomorrow.”

And that’s when it struck me. Naa Ameley will always be priority, family will always be priority, no matter what. 

Yes, there would be days Naa won’t get to play with me just because I’m home. There are days she gets shipped out of the room because she wants to “say some” during my work call 😂😂. And there are days she may wait an hour or 2 longer to suckle after I close from work because I had to leave the office later than usual. Yes, there may be many days like that. Honouring God in my work is important. And yes, there are days Ariel may have to wait with Naa outside our bedroom so I can complete an important call with an Enosua’s heArt client. Those days will come, but that doesn’t mean my family isn’t priority. Naa, if you or any of your siblings are reading this, know that the times you have to wait “your turn” doesn’t mean you aren’t priority. You are. Always. Just not a first pick as a constant, but when it’s really important, when it boils down to choosing one thing over my family, like my last job move was, you, my family, will always always be priority. 

It spooked me. The very thought. That one day I could walk away from a good career prospect or a great Enosua’s heArt break because my priorities are clear, our priorities are clear: Family first. 

Yes, it was spooky but “boy!!!” did that make me proud! An unwavering conviction, when push comes to shove, no one shoves my family out. 

Will I be irresponsible when choosing family over all (please don’t add God to the “all”… lol… that’s also very clear to me)? Hell no? I don’t plan to be and hope I meet people with grace who call that out if I ever do so blindly. I’ll do my very best to plan or mitigate, so I can honour God in honouring my family. And honour God in every other aspect of my life. I may pick work calls in the car at a hospital, if needed. Or wake up really early to fulfill a client’s order. And for sure, I would work late like I’m doing today to make up for “borrowed” time from my day job or other responsibilities. But will I put them first over you, Naa? Over our family? No… no, I won’t. God forbid that I do. 

I really ask for grace to keep us first, Naa. Speeches are easy, and announced convictions can be glamorous. So we thank God that grace abounds. 

That call has shaken me because of this thought that it generated, Naa. Thankfully the content of the call itself wasn’t scary. However, I’m thankful I’ve gotten those shock waves this evening. It’s a humbling reminder why I work, why I chase my dreams, why I love being a Mum, a Wife, a Daughter of God too. Typing this out has strengthened my resolve, and ooo am I grateful that I had this experience tonight. 

Tomorrow, we’d make it. Come hell or high water. And may we be given many opportunities to make it when it counts… for you, for family, for us…

6:38pm

1st Baby Diaries || Thursday, 14th July, 2022 || 7 calendar months, 19 days 

Exhausted, Super Proud!

One thing I’ve learnt being a Mom, Full time worker and a small business owner, either can make you exhausted… all 3? Very exhausted. 

Sometimes I’m so exhausted everything just takes a pause. Other times, the long hours of one become the more hours of another, especially with discipline and the frequent reminder that, “Sis! You don’t have time!” 

It’s fun building a business, adding value to your employer, pouring love and milk into your child. They have their ups and downs but let’s face it: it’s more than fun, each is a rewarding experience. They truly are. 

So tonight, I find myself trying to soothe my fussy teething baby so she can sleep on what could have been a semi-empty stomach. Thankfully the calm and wait till past 11pm paid off! She drank the rest of her formula! Finally! The one she rejected earlier. Naa Ameley loooooves food! So when she rejected food, I knew there was going to be extra effort needed tonight. Thankfully, whilst I waited and allowed her to fuss in and out of sleep till she got hungry, I worked on some paperwork for Enosua’s heArt… not a minute wasted being a goal, it was nice using up this TV/Mom time to catch up on what I had been putting off too long. Mompreneur.

After she finally finally fell asleep better fed, I put her down and then ironed my new dress for work. Day 5 on my new job and I wanted to look really good this time. If it didn’t fit perfectly just from all the weight I’ve gained these past few weeks, it surely had to be look well ironed. Thankful for all the leg work Mandy had put in, I just needed to iron out a few stubborn creases to finish it off. The plan was to catch up on some audio learning for my business as I ironed. I guess I forgot but it’s nice that the thought was there. Prepping for work and sharpening my side-hustle ask in tandem. Sidepreneur.

Yes, all this leaves me exhausted. I could have been asleep before 9pm but here I am, right before midnight, briefly catching this moment because I want to remember these days. 

I’m a young Mompreneur and Sidepreneur, I’m proud of both, proud of the 3 elements that make me both: Mom, full time employee and business owner (mostly in this order). Proud of all the systems currently in place plus the new ones I am building to help me excel as much as feasible in my circumstance at each. Proud of the awesome people I have at home, work and my Enosua’s heArt affiliations who support me. 

Yes. I’m a young Mompreneur and Sidepreneur, exhausted and super proud. 

00:02am

Mompreneur/Sidepreneur Diaries || Thursday, 7th July, 2022