10 letters - Letter 1

It’s the night before I leave you behind, Naa Ameley. It would be our very first night apart since you were born. 

So I’ve decided to write 10 letters. 10 letters to you, Gladys, till I’m back home. 10 letters of love to our first child, Frances. 

But first, let me start with a story. One you may have heard over and over again. 

Grandma Frances got the opportunity to travel abroad and study for her PhD when I was just 3 months old. She almost never went if it wasn’t for Grandpa Kofi who promised to write Grandma a letter every day to let her know how I was doing. You’re 10 months now so imagine what Grandma had to go through! I can’t imagine it. At all. 

But I do imagine missing you each day we’re apart. And I am confident that I would not be able to wait to see you soon. 

But tonight, I’ll hold you close. Cuddle you like I don’t normally do. Enjoy the warmth of your touch and pray you don’t get a cold, my love. 

Because I’ll miss you, my love. My one and only Piesie, our answer to prayer and our pure delight. 

It’d be our first time apart, and I’d write to you everyday… just like Grandpa did for Grandma when she had left me and the rest of the family behind.

Don’t miss me too much! Mummy loves you, Ameley… 

  

23:23

1st Baby Diaries || Friday, 30th September, 2022 || 10 calendar months, 5 days

Intentional

 In the midst of trying to find my feet at my new job, working on Enosua’s heArt whilst working in it, and practically staying afloat, I realised I was neglecting one thing: my family. 

Don’t get me wrong. My husband isn’t abandoned and my daughter doesn’t not know me anymore. But I did realise I had become comfortable working alongside everything! A day with the family was a day with my screens by my family. Breastfeeding Naa meant Naa saw my face less than she saw the back of my device. And now, she was so used to not making eye contact that when she did, she could look on listlessly as if I didn’t exist. 

Our other “twin” baby would barely calm down if he were upset and I tried to console him. Not so for Ariel, the relationship had been built to be different. 

I used to be happy when Naa cried for her Dad instead of me. It was the sound of upcoming relief from minding her. Freedom to get along with other things. 

But now I realise that we do not reap where we do not sow. Even with babies. It’s not Naa’s responsibility at this age to invest in our relationship. It’s mine. And I should invest in the relationship I want to have. What we feed grows, what we starve dies, and I know the road I was on was full of hunger strikes when opportunities to be well fed abound. 

So Naa, now I look into your eyes much more when you breastfeed. I cuddle you close when I can. I shut the laptop for you or move towards you if work has to eat into your time because it isn’t theirs. I pause work for you after working hours, I come at your call to be held, to be fed because it’s your time not theirs. 

I’m more intentional now, because I don’t want to lose you having created that loss. I want to be the change I want to see. I want to be close to you and that starts each day. So I draw close. I’ll invest our time in you. I love you. 

You’re important to me, our relationship is too, the relationship with our family is as well, and now I’ll be more intentional… because I can’t miss this, miss you, miss all this whilst I’m right here. 

Intentional… 

23:45

Mompreneur/Sidepreneur diaries | Monday, 26th September, 2022 | Baby at 10 months, 1 week, 1 day

Yɛabɔ o, hyira yɛn

Songs We Grew Up On and what they still mean to me - An Enosua’s heArt series 

“Yɛaba o, hyira yɛn” is an Akan song that is one of the features in this series. This video describes what it still means to me after so many years of singing it.

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