You’re doing well

I scribbled a whole lot earlier and fell asleep in the process. It reminds me of Naa now. Tired, exhausted and fussing herself silly, anything but allowing herself to fall asleep. 

It doesn’t take away the magnitude of things that were on my plate. But a nap did wonders. At least, after I was fully awake it did. 

Hunger, sleep, things that change my perspective. I was asked to breathe this weekend, breathe and just be. And allow God to be God as well. Over my life and over my situation. 

I’m at one of those activity peaks now. A first child turning one soon, a new mum in her mid thirties, a new employee in an unfamiliar industry, 2 exams in 2 very new fields to write in the next 2 weeks, absent child support for these same 2 weeks, a lot of work at work, big changes in the family dynamics (dynamics that are older than 20 years), an ongoing visibility promo for Enosua’s heArt, an uncomfortable financial situation for Enosua’s heArt, the economy as it is now… shall I list more?

No need. Because in the spirit of being, I will pause to acknowledge this much: “Girl! You’re doing a lot! And you’re doing well… just so well… past Ofosua should see you now, and future Ofosua should stand proud. Just for “being” alone… see, see what the Lord has done, be expectant of the more He will do.”

God is good, Ofosua. God is good, boss-chick, employee of the past month, mummy dearest, supportive wife, double student, proud daughter, praying sister, citizen of Ghana. 

God is good, Ofosua, and you’re doing well. God bless you. 

22:08

Mompreneur/Sidepreneur  |  Sunday, 30th October, 2022  |  Baby at 11 calendar months, 5 days

“Martha, Martha, Kanban…”

Growing up, I remember struggling to understand these verses from a well-loved story: “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” 

I mean, why on earth would a guest (the Lord) tell a busy host (Martha) this when she only asked him to tell her “distracted” sister (Mary) to help her? I mean how? It was a no-brainer to me. We’re two sisters who have guests, we must make sure everything is in place for the guests to be well cared for in this very moment, but Mary doesn’t do anything but sit by a guest and listen to Him when there’s work to do! 

I could always bear with Martha’s frustration but found it hard to understand what the Lord meant. So I settled with the explanations I was given and eventually made peace with it. 

Till I recently discovered the joy of actually practising Kanban, one of the agile methods, and now these verses take on a whole new meaning from me especially “it will not be taken away from her” 

Kanban as an agile method not only relies on having our “to-do list” arranged in a certain way on a board we can “always” see, but also relies on us focussing on one thing at a time till it is done before moving on to the next priority, only pulling in another priority task to do when the prioritised task a person is working on is done. It’s interesting to read more about it online, please do!

If Mary used a personal Kanban, she would have been focussing on the task important to her: listening to the Lord, a guest Who wouldn’t always be with her but had so much wisdom He could share with her then. 

Now my humorous self can’t seem to get this image out of my mind 😂😂: The Lord saying ever so serenely to Martha, “Martha, Martha, Kanban…” I’m in tickles already! 

When I began using Kanban, I discovered my priority tasks were no longer being “taken away from” me by distractions, seeming emergencies, less important and less urgent things. I was getting things done and done well because I gave myself the permission and the space to focus in spite of everything. Just like Mary. 

And funny enough, I was getting even more things done in a day when I used my Kanban than if I were to run around and do many things at once, start many things before finishing one to move on to the next.

My personal Kanban allows me to:

1. List everything I need to do including the “many things” that leave me “worried and upset” when they aren’t done
2. Prioritise the “few things” that “are needed”, and 
3. Choose “indeed only one” thing to work on. 

If you’re familiar with this Bible story and experienced in using Kanban you may understand the light bulb moment I just had these few days ago after being retrained by IQ business on Kanban amongst other agile concepts. I’m now an absolute Kanban believer!

If you feel you want to understand my lightbulb moment, I’d encourage you to: 

• Read Luke 10:38-42
• Read more about Kanban
• Create your personal Kanban and follow it, and
• Discover your own joy of being more productive so that what’s important to you is “not taken away”. Just like Mary. 

Feel free to send me a message if you get stuck, and I’d be happy to help. 

Enjoy your day! Kanban, anyone?

8:38am

Mompreneur/Sidepreneur || Friday, 21st October, 2021 || Baby at 10 calendar months, 26 days

10 Letters - Letter 10

2 weeks ago, 14 nights ago, I was preparing to leave you behind for more than 24 hours for the first time in my life, Gladys. 

Daunting, no? I was gone for 7 days and 7 nights. And when I got home you were asleep! 😂😂😂

But it was beautiful thing to have you latch on at night as if nothing had changed. It was adorable to see you laugh and crawl so quickly! Yes, I know. You still move on your fours in slow motion but girl have you improved! I sometimes still see you getting weighed down by your own head from a small miscalculated coordination attempt, at times to the point of tripping as you crawl. But ooo it’s so adorable to see the progress you’ve made. 

Your soul piercing gaze still warms my heart. This is you, our Frances, and we love you to absolute bits. 

I do thank Ariel, Amanda over again for their care for you whilst I was away but I haven’t paused to properly say thank you to you, Naa. 

Thank you, Ameley, for: 

- Not stressing your Dad and Auntie Amanda too much 

- Staying healthy; I know it’s not all you but I’m grateful you were

- Your smiles and laughter when you recognised me during video calls 

- Hanging in there without me, whether or not you truly missed me or didn’t realise what was going on 

- Craving for my breastmilk while I was away and letting me know you did when you saw me on our video calls. Really glad you didn’t kill the appetite. You made all my expressed milk worth it. 

- Just being you, Ms. Ammah, in all your cuteness, your fondness and your bea-U-ty! 

I have more to say but my sleepy mind isn’t allowing it to flow as freely. 

All the same I want you to know… our baby girl… know that Mummy loves you waa. To the moon and back and back again with an Uber rider to the main Mamprobi lorry station. 

You’re our lovely darling, and it’s good to hold you close again… over and over again…

22:17

1st baby diaries || Friday, 14th October, 2022 || 10 calendar months, 19 days

10 Letters - Letter 9

Tonight, Godwilling, tonight…

Tonight, I’d hold you in my arms

Tonight, you’ll suckle by my side

Tonight, I’d hear you breathing, asleep 

Tonight, Naa Ameley, tonight

Tonight, God willing, tonight 

Tonight, I’ll see you smile at me

Without a screen between us three

Tonight, I will delight in your laugh

Tonight, Naa Ameley, tonight

Tonight, God willing, tonight 

Tonight, your eyes will look into mine

Piercing my soul, traversing time

Glittering with sleep, or thought or more

Tonight, Naa Ameley, tonight

Tonight, God willing, tonight 

Tonight, I’d feel your heartbeat sync with mine

Tonight, our rhythms will sing our old rhyme

Tonight, I’ll feel your warmth again

Tonight, Naa Ameley, tonight

Tonight, God willing, tonight 

Tonight, I’d count these my many blessings one more time 

Our answer to prayer, our girl who arrived in perfect time

Tonight, I’d hum a song of praise 

Tonight, Naa Ameley, tonight

Tonight, God willing, tonight 

Tonight, Daddy may get some deserved sleep

Tonight, I’m on duty automatically 😂😂

Tonight, I’d hear you fuss again

Tonight, Naa Ameley, tonight

Tonight, God willing, tonight 

Tonight, I think I’d finally shed that tear

The joy of finally having you near

The week is over, I’m coming home

Tonight, Naa Ameley, tonight

Tonight, God willing, tonight 

Tonight! Our N’am’ley, did you miss me?

Tonight! It’s been an incredible week!

Tonight, it’s you I get to see 😍😍

Tonight, Naa Ameley, tonight

Tonight, God willing, tonight 

Tonight, I’ll drown the whole world out 

Tonight, they can go and figure it out

Tonight will all be for my family

Tonight, Naa Ameley, tonight

Tonight, God willing, tonight 

Tonight, I’d hold you in my arms 

Tonight, I’d kiss you with wet eyes

Tonight, I’d smile a thousand smiles

Tonight, Naa Ameley, tonight

Tonight, God willing, tonight 

Tonight… 

8:29pm WAT 

1st baby diaries || Saturday, 8th October, 2022 || 10 calendar months, 13 days

10 Letters - Letter 8

Guess who’s seeing you tomooorrroooooowwwww!!! 

Mummy dearest, that’s who! 

Oh my baby, I’ve missed you! They did say babies grow so fast but say whaaaaaatt???!! 

Daddy gave me an update tonight. Girl, you’re grown!! 1 week! Just a week and you’re crawling with confidence, defending your turf and not just investing your newfound super powers in throwing tantrums 😂😂😂

You look taller too! A lot can happen in one week. My heart is already in Ghana, my body is here and my mind is definitely in a deep sleep 😂😂 Ameley, I’m so tired I can’t even think. 

Today and yesterday have been spiritual journeys. Bad states are good things if they trigger great actions, and I’m on to my new adventure. The exhaustion did a number on me but it made me vulnerable. And this vulnerability was good. You know how I’d love you to follow your dreams with pride, passion and responsibility? Well I hope we can look at this week and go like, “My mum made a life changing choice, and this is where it all began” 

The mystery… looolololl… but the future will prove it or not. 

It’s been a good ride, Naa. So glad my employer gave me this chance. Happy to be coming home to Daddy, you and the rest of the family soon. Till then, where’s that “new” to do list? 

Love you now and always, our Naa Ameley. 

22:04

1st baby diaries || Friday, 7th October, 2022 || 10 calendar months, 12 days

10 Letters - Letter 7

It was lovely seeing your angelic face as you slept this morning, Naa. I remember when people kept saying you looked so peaceful in sleep. To me, all babies did but today I got it. Your face, your eyes, there was something absolutely calming about you and it made me feel peaceful. 

I didn’t see you much today after that. Can’t remember where you were but I spoke with your Daddy and knew you were closeby.

Speaking of peace, today, I chose me. Not intentionally but I kinda got so exhausted I skipped class and talked with Uncle Yaw, who had come to the hotel to visit, till late. It was nice. I needed that rest. It felt like I’d stepped off the rat race for a moment, still tired but less strained. Enjoying laughs and the fellowship of a friend. 

It’s been a good evening. And guess what? I’m in bed before midnight! Whoop whoop! Before 11pm even! Hurrrayyyyy!! 

I’d be sleeping right after this letter to you, Naa. I hope when you grow and you start choosing, I hope you choose what’s best for others and best for you. I had unconsciously begun thinking angry thoughts about others when I was hungry over the last few days, not realising the strain this week had had on me. I wasn’t becoming a good version of myself for others or for me.  

Naa, one 3-day intense training from Monday to Wednesday, an engaging conference today and tomorrow, the night online classes that starts at 5:30pm Ghana time to close about 11pm SA time (I’m 2 hours ahead of you), the expressing of milk, the long shopping walks, the ad hoc emails, the urgent texts, the low sleep, the constant urgent and important mode, the jet lag, the colder weather and freezing air conditioning, the cold that doesn’t heal fully. Mummy’s been through quite a bit this week and has a few more days to go to see you. 

Tonight’s break was not an option. It was unintentional but it was key. And I’m so grateful God was gracious enough to orchestrate it for me. 

So when you start making more choices on your own, Naa, I pray that when God grants you rest, you’d take it. Don’t worry about tomorrow or the work left undone. He’d either clear it away or help you make up for it at a better time. So please take it when you recognise it. Thanking Him for His opportunities to rest… 

… like I am today. 

I love you, our Remote-Inspector. May God grant us a beautiful tomorrow in Him. 

22:45

1st baby diaries || Thursday, 6th October, 2022 || 10 calendar months, 11 days

10 Letters - Letter 6

Talk about long hard days, Naa Ameley! Eish! 

3 minutes to half past midnight, Naa. And Mummy is still up. 

I always wondered why people hated travelling on company trips. Now I understand even more. I thought it was just the flight (which I’d gladly skip if teleporting existed) but eish! The work after work is just hectic! Aowwuuuu… 

That said though, I’m loving the opportunity. And the chance to eat and try foods I normally won’t eat 🤩 I have a senior colleague who actually hates this point but today, I’m so glad I’m not that senior colleague because I am loving it! She’s Ga like you, by the way, and food without an impressive dose of pepper gets to her. So imagine the week she’s having…  

The milk bit is a downer though… milk and cheese. I can do butter, mozzarella and cheddar and small amounts of fresh milk or UHT but anything outside this does leave me feeling bloated and gassy at times. Why they’re putting generous amounts cheese and fresh milk almost anywhere and everywhere is beyond me! Eish?

Speaking of milk, Naa, I’m expressing once or twice a day for you and I’m glad with my progress. I know some Mums don’t get this chance or have to choose to not keep up, so I’m so grateful that I can. Looking forward to your right of refusal (self-weaning) or your weaning at aged 2. Till then, let’s keep getting you some milk. 

You’re probably asleep by now, my love. Sweet dreams our famous Ariosua, our Ganyobi who loves pepper… Please give Daddy a good night’s sleep too… Mummy loves you waa! Keep remembering this… 

00:38

1st Baby Diaries || Thursday, 6th October, 2022 || 10 calendar months, 11 days

10 Letters - Letter 5

We’re almost there, Ameley. A few letters more and you’d be in my arms again. 

I must say the letters are helping. I’m not struck with absolute guilt or worried uncontrollably. Perhaps I’m busy… they do say work is a distraction for mums and it seems to be working for me now. Also your amazing Dad is doing a lovely job 😍. Still, writing to you each day is comforting. 

I loved your extremely broad smile when you saw me tonight. Pure joy. I was so happy to see you but thrilled when you broke into that beautiful smile of yours, our Gladys. It’s the first time I’ve seen you smile so broadly during our video calls, and yes, I fell in love all over again, our Frances. 

It was nice going for a swim after. I’m trying to remember the last time I swam and I can’t really recall anything beyond 2019. It’s amazing, Naa. One day we’d go to the pool together.

One day some day soon but tonight though, I’ll acknowledge that amazing swims make for deeper rests — but I still need more time to benefit from it. This was a hectic day that was totally made by your brilliant smile, our Piesie. It was such a beautiful experience: that spontaneous bloom of your expressions. Thank you for sharing it with me 😘

Mummy loves you. Fondly… 

00:35

1st Baby Diaries || Wednesday, 5th October, 2022 || 10 calendar months, 10 days

10 Letters - Letter 4

You won’t imagine what happened last night, Naa… I sent our letter to the wrong broadcast list. Guess when I realised it? Just a few minutes ago. If I were white I’d be totally red right now. 

For some reason though, WhatsApp allowed me delete for everyone. I hope it worked. Even if it didn’t, aahhh well, we’re human. I won’t be the first or the last to do so… lol… 

Speaking of firsts and lasts, tonight was the first time you protested during our video call. It was rather hilarious you trying to throw a tantrum because you could see my breasts and not reach it. Sad? Yes? Cute, yes too. I hope you laugh with us about it when you’re older. It’s amazing how your brain works and I was delighted by it. 

We also noticed at the end you were throwing a tantrum for Daddy’s phone. Well, you won’t always get everything in life, but it doesn’t stop you from asking, even better, from asking nicely. Were you throwing a tantrum all along? Naaahhh, we won’t think so even if you were. Missing you is precious now. And to see you break into a smile during that same call as I spoke with you and tempted you to smile was just the highlight of my day. Nope, we won’t let that moment go… you smiled for me and cried for your milk with me. I no bore… lol.

It’s been a long day and it’s really late. My brain is doing that thing where it’s following the time back home so it isn’t sleepy yet. We’ll see where that will land me. I’ll try and sleep soon. I hope you’re doing so same and not giving Daddy a tough time tonight. 

Sleep tight, my love, our Gladys. It’s nice imagining you closing your eyes right now and drifting off to dreamland… 

22:53

1st baby diaries || Monday, 3rd October, 2022 || 10 calendar months, 8 days

10 Letters - Letter 3

10 letters - Letter 3

It’s been a loooonnng day. Very long. Too long. Bad night, jet lag, fatigue and a mall “trek” that went searching for a needle in a haystack. It’s annoying to have limited funds, Naa Ameley, but we still count our joys. 

And today one of my greatest joys is you. The video your Dad sent me of you made my heart sing, your delightful laugh melts my heart. It was nice seeing you do so. 

And it’s motivations like you that keep us going, Ameley. I mean, what else would drive me to spend time manually extracting milk when I could be adding to my minutes of much needed sleep if it weren’t for you? 

When things get tough, remember your motivations and delights, Frances, and remind yourself of why you’re doing what you’re doing and who you’re doing it most for. 

Because Mummy is exhausted, I’d say bye for now, our Naa Ameley. Sleep tight when you do ❤️

8:12pm

1st Baby Diaries || Sunday, 2nd October, 2022 || 10 calendar months, 7 days

10 letters - Letter 2

10 letters - Letter 2

I’m at the airport, Naa. And I can’t help but imagine what I would have done if I saw your eyes that can peer into a soul gaze at me when we drove away. Or if you cried, knowing you weren’t necessarily crying for me but crying because Ariel gave you back to Amanda after letting you sit with us as we backed out of the yard. Each would have broken my heart for sure. 

Thankfully, I didn’t see either. So my heart is intact. And I’m just numb. Not a bad numb, just not feeling anything. Not feeling like I’ve left you behind… yet… 

And perhaps that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Maybe I’ll feel it tomorrow morning, or in the plane tonight, or tomorrow night when I’m snuggled up alone in my bed without you, without Ariel. Or when I wake up in the dead of the night reaching out for your dummy or your bottle or for you even to breastfeed and realise none are there. 

Am I overemphasising all this perhaps? No… I know I’m not. I know it’ll hit me eventually. But maybe these letters may speed up the process or simply delay it. I don’t know and I don’t care honestly. I do know these letters will help me cope, help me feel connected and maybe reduce my Mama’a guilt if I happen to feel it. 

One thing I do know is I love you so so much, I’m going to enjoy these days without you, and yes, I’d miss you too. Don’t miss me too much, and ooooohhh dear! I just remembered I left my breast pump! Ok! Operation dry not is now hotter than ever. 

Let me send this now before the data cuts. I love you, our Ameley. To the moon and back and back again with a Trotro ride to Boadi Junction. Kiss kiss! 

22:26

1st Baby Diaries || Saturday, 1st October, 2022 || 10 calendar months, 6 days