Family

 The first Sunday of the year is a great day to be thankful.

And I am thankful. I’m thankful for family. Having a baby is hard work. So I am especially grateful today for family, by blood and by choice. I have no clue what I’d do without them. 

Before Naa Ameley’s arrival, when the third trimester fatigue was large enough to make me forget my tenses, I had family around… and lots of them! When my painful hands could render me good for almost no physical activity and even getting up to pee at night was its own feat, I was surrounded by family. Family who cooked for me, cleaned for me, went baby shopping with me, encouraged me, and sometimes annoyed me but I knew they were there for me no matter what. Yes, today, I am truly grateful. And I realise how I can’t take it for granted. It’s such a privilege that many do not enjoy. 

Ariel and I made the choice to have Naa Ameley in Kumasi early on. I doubt we knew the importance of our decision then, but as my sometimes-know-all Dad loves to say nowadays, “Coming to Kumasi was one of the best decisions you could ever make”. I tend to take my Dad’s very bold statements with a pinch of salt, but I must confess: He’s absolutely right!

I’m especially grateful for Ariel. I’ve had many a good night’s sleep because of him. Whilst I’m off in dreamland on many nights, Ariel would be occupying our currently nocturnal Naa Ameley with a bottle, a cuddle, a diaper change, or a burping session. He drove from Accra the day she was born early and came straight to see us before heading any where else. He worked from home days after she was born so he could save his paternity leave for our relocation back to Tema. I’m not saying he shouldn’t have, or it wasn’t his to do, but I am saying I’m incredibly grateful for every way he’s been there for us, his wife and child, outside familiar territory. Incredibly grateful.

Family has saved me from post partum depression (which can often be driven by fatigue and sleep deprivation). Family has helped me appreciate my own choices more when it comes to motherhood — once in a while, you can trust family to question your decisions out of no where! And who would I want to question my decisions than the ones who love me but can be equally extremely judgemental out of the blue because of that love. It’s a fine way to think through my preferences again without the fear of being victimised for useless reasons and as a result become absolutely sure of my questioned choice. Family has held Naa Ameley, fed Naa Ameley, comforted our baby, and even allowed me to leave home without worrying about her health and safety. Family took me to the hospital before 3am after about 3 hours of labour. Family helped me have an amazing photoshoot, shots I’d personally cherish forever. Family has called me, sent me messages and even shared timely advice on phone and in person. Family has loved us in words and deeds at this very special time. 

I’m watching an episode of Chicago Med with my Dad on TV and there’s a patient who says he doesn’t have family. Aside being quietly shocked at the thought in this reflectively thankful mood I’m in, I realise how true it can be and how I have no clue how I’d survive without my family, both nuclear and extended. 

I won’t be in Kumasi forever God-willing, but I will be forever grateful for this time in the Owusu-Daaku residence with our Naa Ameley and Ariel. My Mum, my Dad, my brother, his wife, my niece, my distant cousin, Amanda, Auntie Stella, and even the Ayeh family next door, family has been such a first-baby blessing for me and I’m so grateful to count that blessing over and over again. 

Naa Ameley, they say it takes a village to raise a child. For you, you had a village to birth you. And for that, we are grateful, now and always. 

4:59pm

1st baby diaries || Sunday, 2nd January, 2022 || 1 calendar month 8 days