Akwaaba

 (English Translation follows)

Naa Ameley 

Me dɔ 

Me ba

Me mpaeɛ a Ɔbaatampa Nyankopɔn gyee so maa me

Me mpaeɛ nyiano a Wayi de ahyɛ yɛn nsam 

Akwaaba

Akwaaba biom

Wode anigyeɛ soronko na abrɛ yɛn

W’anim a wokyimkyim de kyerɛ yɛn

Anim a ɛ tumi danedane de gyegye yɛn ani

Saa ara

Saa ara na w’abrabɔ nyɛ mma wo

Ɛdanedane sen dɛn koraa a

Ma w’akoma nya anigyeɛ soronko

Wɔ nyinaa mu

Ma w’akoma nya anigyeɛ a ɛfiri

W’akoma a woatimtim wɔ Yesu Kristo mu

Naa Ameley

Yɛn dɔfoba Naa Ameley 

Me mpaebɔ kɛseɛ ne sɛ 

Wo nkwa da nyinaa 

Wobɛnya anigyeɛ wɔ yɛn Tweadeampɔn mu

Wobɛhunu No, wobɛdɔ No

Wobɛyi N’ayɛ w’akoma mu 

Wode anuonyam bɛbrɛ No

W’abrabɔ mu 

Naa Ameley

Yɛn Naa Ameley

Nyame de wo ahyira yɛn 

Na yɛn anigyeɛ ɛboro deɛ yɛsusuu sɛ yɛbɛnya

Me mpaebɔ ne sɛ 

Awurade No ara bɛboa yɛn

Ama yɛakyerɛ wo Ne kwan

Ama yɛn abɛn wo

Ama yɛayɛ w’adamfonom soronko

Ne w’awofoɔ pa 

Na da biara Nyame bɛma yɛn nkwa

A Ɔsane bɛma yɛn wo nso aka ho

Me mpaebɔ ne sɛ 

Yɛbɛwɔ hɔ ama wo

Na w’adwen anyɛ wo nyaa sɛ 

Yɛn akoma mu ne yɛn ahoɔden mu

Yɛwɔ hɔ ma wo 

Naa Ameley 

Akwaaba biom

Awiase yɛ dɛ, gye w’ani

Awiase yɛ ya, nya gyedie 

Nyame mu dɛ ɛkyɛn nyinaa, asomdwoe nka wo

Nyame asomdwoe nka wo 

Wo nkwa daa nyinaa

Naa Ameley

Yɛn Naa Ameley

Akwaaba

(English Translation below)

11:39am

1st Baby Diares || Wednesday, 9th February, 2022 || 2 calendar months, 15 days

English translation

Naa Ameley

My love

My child

My prayer that our “Motherly” and Sovereign God answered for me

My answered prayer that He has selected and placed in our hands

Welcome

Welcome again

You have brought us a unique kind of joy

The many expressions you keep showing us on your face

Facial expressions that keep changing to entertain us

Just like them

May your life, to you, be just like them

No matter how [your life] twists and turns

May your heart find unique joy

In all of it

May your heart find happiness that is from

Your heart being grounded in Jesus Christ

Naa Ameley

Our beloved child Naa Ameley

My massive prayer is that

All the days of your life

You would find joy in our Dependable [God]

You will know Him, you will love Him

You will praise Him in your heart

Your will bring Him honour

In your life

Naa Ameley

Our Naa Ameley

God has blessed us with you

And our joy exceeds what we imagined we would have

My prayer is

The Lord Himself will help us

To show you His way

To be close to you

To be your special friends

And your good parents

For every day that God grants us life

And that He also gives us you in addition

My prayer is

We will be there for you

So that you will not doubt

That in our hearts and in the strength we have

We are there for you

Naa Ameley

Welcome once more

The world is sweet, have fun

The world is painful, have faith

The sweetness [found] in God surpasses everything, peace be with you soon

[May] God’s peace be with you

All the days of your life

Naa Ameley

Our Naa Ameley

Welcome

Distracted

This afternoon I’m sitting in a hospital OPD waiting area with a full bladder, rubbing my ringless finger and wondering what to write as I wait for the doctor to return and conduct a scan… 

Funny thing is it took such a long time for my bladder to fill up that now I need simple distractions to keep holding it, including rubbing the depression my wedding bands have created on my currently fat fingers. Till I got pregnant, I never knew massively full bladders were needed for certain scans. Lucky me, I guess… lol

So today I’d write about something I’ve been dying to type for a while. My current pregnancy look. Let’s save the ringless finger for another day… 

For starters, my current pregnancy weight already halfway through my journey is still less than my pre-pregnancy weight 😂😂😂 Not being able to eat and having terrible aversions in Trimester 2 may be the biggest drivers for this. Some pregnant women try to prevent their diet-based sugar levels from going up, I get to join the crew that try to prevent themselves from crashing each day just because we don’t have enough diet-based energy. Thankfully, I’m currently not underweight, plus pre-pregnancy BMIs would have placed me in some overweight category, so it’s all good, for me, the baby and extra icecream 😋

Oh dear, I leaned back in this trio of chairs and almost emptied my bladder in shock! Note to self: not leaning back in this seat again till bladder is relieved. 

Where were we? Yes… Icecream 😋

So I definitely don’t look pregnant. Unless you know me and my pre-pregnancy self you may just think I’m a fat lady with a large belly. Funny… I never had that being said of me because… 

Wait! Oh, no, they didn’t! I just got crossed a second time after the doctor returned by another pregnant lady who I’m sure has no full bladder like mine! Complained to the nurse and her response stunned me into silence. Almost rude silence but how can you say, “But you didn’t tell me” Ei madam… 

Okay as you can see, my pregnancy-look tales are being interrupted. I may have to save that and the ringless finger thoughts for another day. 

Yayyy… got called in. Played with the depression on my finger as I didn’t have access to my phone on the examining table and had to wait for the doctor again. Took the time to apologise to the nurse for my likely rudeness whilst she was trying to explain how lines of communication had been broken. Got the scan. Then had to run to the bathroom right after. Thank God it’s over. I also waited for my bag to be handed back to me because I left it in the consulting room when I had to rush out. It got held up because another more private examination was ongoing when I returned to get it. Thankfully, I have it now. At this moment, I have to wait… again… for the rest of my assessment and final verdict. Let’s see how all that goes. At least now, I don’t have to pray nothing gives me strong emotions to trigger something I won’t be able to control. You should have seen me stop laughing immediately I realised good strong emotions were still bad triggers whilst I was on the examining table. Massive relief! Still in the trio of chairs and can’t get myself to lean back even if I tried. I guess transient situational trauma is real. Lol. Still waiting, and still going on multiple trips to the bathroom. I guess I can’t expect one trip to do the trick. Lol. Looking forward to a smooth end of today… 

4:04pm

Pregnancy Diaries || Wednesday, 11th August, 2021 || 23 weeks, 1 day

Stale Milk

I took a picture of this mug this morning; we bought it last weekend. I love it. It has the picture of an Afro’d lady and the inscription: I am worthy of my dreams. And I reminded myself how I wanted to live this well so Naa Ameley would be inspired to follow her own outrageous dreams, from the sheer fact that she was exposed to such an example. 

Soon after I watched a random episode of “Friends” on TV where Rachel’s mother confessed to her daughter that she married a man she didn’t love but she, Rachel, her daughter escaped that. Naa Ameley was happily chomping away at my teat then. 

And in that moment, I had this weird brief daydream of a worn-out Naa Ameley, tired of my follow-your-big-dreams mantras, confessing to me that she had no big dreams! She just wanted to get to the next thing (like the next day or the next pay cheque).

If that didn’t send a chill down my spine!

Not because not having massive dreams is scary. But because I suddenly realised that I could be the overbearing mother in pushing my children to follow their big dreams. Trying so hard to liberate them from what I sometimes (not all times, honestly, but sometimes) feel: stuck and not liberated, yet, to follow my crazy dreams. 

Right after that, Naa Ameley threw up a little bit. Right in the middle of her breastfeed and in the middle of the “Friends” episode I was watching. Purely coincidental but it reminded me that we had given her some milk in a bottle earlier today, milk that had been sitting for a while because it was the remainder from her prior feed. Why? You may ask. Well, I ambitiously prepared too much for that bottle. And then, I just didn’t want to waste that excess, knowing money went into prepping it, in spite of the risk that it could be too stale. Can you imagine!  

And if that didn’t give me another analogical moment, I’m not sure what could have. Lol.

 

Babies need milk, but stale milk, even if it’s unknowingly given, even if it’s lovingly given, can cause them to throw up down the line.

And then I thought, what a great moment to journal. And in writing this, it came to me:

I’d continue to be me. Perhaps that occurred to me because the other mug we bought had a different Afro’d lady and the inscription, “Be Yourself”. Yes, I’d be the mother I am and the mother I hope to be. And in this hope, I pray I listen to Naa Ameley and her siblings, and give them a safe space to be themselves too. And if they are motivated to chase their big dreams like I hope I keep doing, they won’t feel they were threatened to or manipulated to do so. They’d feel loved enough, and safe enough, and assured enough that I’d love them no less, and as human as I am, and that I’d do my best not to judge them or make them feel judged. I’d do my best not to selfishly force my own passion on them like stale milk, just because I have a lot of it. 

Stale milk that hasn’t yet gone bad can be bad enough for my baby. In the same way, my hopes and dreams, which may or may not be relevant or whole even, would remain mine, and not automatically become theirs. And as their parent, I’d love to be the one to give them milk that’s good for them. Fresh milk. At the end of the day, if they throw it up somehow — because even well-meaning human beings are capable of such — I can sleep easy, knowing I tried. 

Naa Ameley, I hope no matter how different we’d be, how differently we aspire to our dreams, big or small, I hope you won’t doubt I did my best to support you and love you. I’d do my best to give you fresh milk, always. 

5:15pm

1st Baby Diaries || Tuesday, 1st February, 2022 || 2 calendar months, 7 days

Grandma Oh No

Two nights ago, I got my first “negative” reaction to breaking the news to a friend I work with. Of all the things I expected her to say, it definitely wasn’t her, “Oh no oooo!” And now she’s officially won the title, “Grandma Oh No” so I can never cease explaining this name to our curious grandchildren, and hopefully keep up my forever tease of her. Nana Aba, you know no logical defence will save you from this situation, right? I can’t stop laughing. Here’s to the beginning of immortalisation. 

So aside Grandma Oh No’s reaction, every reaction so far has been pleasant, supportive and/or excited. I understand some may not be genuine and others may come with the unpleasant realisation that I won’t be around to do the work they know me for when I’m off to deliver Ariosua (yhup, we still don’t know the baby’s sex yet). I also understand not every expectant mother has had the privilege I’ve had with positive reactions, including false negatives like Nana Aba’s. So I am definitely enjoying the reactions either way, and thankful for them too. 

But the reaction I enjoy the most is my own. I’ve come to realise that if you’ve waited for and worked for something you want badly, any wait is still “too long”. I still remember my own reaction when I finally had my first positive pregnancy test this life has ever offered me. Or when it was Mother’s Day this year and I could beam with secret pride that I too could be counted amongst women who bear a child. Or my triumphant “Happy Father’s Day” to Ariel later on without the guilt of stealing from the category of men who were being celebrated that day. Yes, any wait is “too long” no matter how short it is. 

Ariosua has been an answer to prayer, literally. And many who’ve heard the news from me may also have heard me say, “My family and I are really happy. We’ve been looking forward to this for so long and it’s such a joyous time for us”. And truly it is! I’m having a baaayyybeeee!! 

As I reflect on my reactions to this, especially the ones that plaster a smile on my face, Mary, mother of Jesus, also comes to mind. Surely her circumstance was different, but one thing the gospels keep noting about her, “And Mary pondered all these things in her heart” Now see me, pondering these, and truly thankful that I could be favoured in this way. It’s nice to share such brief moments with a figure known so well from the Scriptures. A pondering in my heart… 

Ariosua, I hope one day you and your siblings grow up to read this. And remember that, it’s truly lovely to have others celebrate with you but it is perhaps the most euphoric thing in the world is when you can genuinely and personally celebrate God for all that He is doing for you, no matter what it is.

7:22am 

Pregnancy Diaries || Friday, 6th August, 2021 || 22 weeks, 3 days

Your Body, Your Baby

This is Your body. This is Your baby. Please show me what to do. 

I found myself saying these words today as I lay in bed deciding to wake up or sleep some more. I’d been up really late finishing a task that was overdue and needed to be addressed before I totally run out of any more time this week. By the time it was bedtime I knew I’d miss the opening session of a key training I’d join other facilitators at work to lead this week and the week after. The opening session was mandatory for all facilitators. All. 

Priorities seem to guide me by the hour. I promised myself I’d be kind to me. We’ve waited for Ariosua’s arrival for what seems like so long that I wasn’t going to be the one to mess it up. Ariosua isn’t his/her name yet, I love to do that for unborn children of people I know, combine the names of their parents so our little one is Ariosua until further notice. 

With all the changes that be, no wonder I’m guided by the hour. I promised to be kind to me but also be responsible about it. I won’t just vanish, or not show up, but I won’t ignore the consequences of my actions either. 

Most times I’m sure, other days I’m confident enough to wing it and stick by it. This morning I honestly had to pray, “This is Your body, this is Your baby. Show me what to do.” Because sometimes the simple decision to sleep in a few more minutes or wake up and start an already late day is like God’s intervention! Really it is! 

I mentioned to a friend, Delight, that I salute our mothers. They survived, thrived in, lost in, loved in, grew in pregnancy without the Internet. Only folk tales and hearsay and gut feel and the scientific evidence they had access to but they had all of us and the ones they lost along the way. I salute our parents, our mums and dads. To me, they possibly prayed even more than I did or perhaps less with the information they had, “This is Your baby, this is Your body. Show me the way.” 

I got up when I realised my exhausted body had not woken up for the night’s pee, my risks of UTIs and its potential harm to Ariosua. So I got up to pee even though my brain could confirm that I could enjoy another hour’s sleep without issues. And that was it. I was up. Exhausted but up. 

Now I have very little time to complete my pending work even with all the time I’ve gained by missing the opening session at work. And even less time (probably no time) if I take our 6-month-old puppy to the vet because she’s been sick for a while and I don’t want to wait to the weekend to “see” if she’d live or not. 

And so the prayer continues… “This is Your body, Your baby, Your puppy, the job You’ve blessed me with and want me to be a good steward of… Show me what to do.”

And the list may keep growing. Isn’t it a deep and amazing joy that our Father in Heaven hears us, listens so carefully to us, even with prayers we know we need but doesn’t always make sense? Because more than an answer to prayer, we need Him. Him. And He gives so much of Himself to us even before we ask, let alone when we do. 

This is Your body, Your baby, Your puppy, the job You’ve blessed me with, the time You’ve given me to live, Your life, Your words on my fingertips, Your worship, Your day that You created, Your chosen destiny for me to take hold of, Your love for me, O God… Please show me what to do. 

9:13am

Pregnancy Diaries || Tuesday, 13th July, 2021 || 19 weeks, 0 days

The Night Before

On the eve of our departure from Kumasi I really want to capture my thoughts and emotions. 

Grateful… Totally grateful… 

It’s been a beautiful ride. Almost 4 months living with my parents again and it’s been a beautiful stay. 

I’d like to thank my Mum and Dad for being such wonderful hosts to me. My doctor, for ensuring I needed nothing. Ariel, for being such a wonderful partner to me especially with Naa Ameley. O-squared, all three shopping we did together, it was a joy being next door to you and my niece. A and BK, maternity dorm mates unlike no other. Auntie S, for supporting when I was weak. Fidelis, for all our important trips together. 

It has been an amazing ride. 

I arrived with a belly that wouldn’t show, hands that wouldn’t work properly from intense pain and proceeded to nights that wouldn’t rest, weight gain and a belly pop that was impressive considering the circumstances, sleepless nights and afternoon naps to keep me working from home. Not forgetting my lost voice by 2pm each day in what would become my last week of work. The academic bond formed with Amanda and the witness of almost 5 internal dramas that happened around me… 

A beautiful baby shower, sick leave that relieved me, Naa Ameley’s surprise arrival, Ariel’s arrival and his many trips to and from Accra for our sake. And today, well yesterday since it’s just past midnight as I type this, my Mum’s birthday at a significant age as we crown the end of birthday season: hers preceded by Auntie S, preceded by the double wedding anniversary, preceded by O, preceded by Baby Jesus, preceded by Daddy, not forgetting a few cousins home and abroad. 

Yes, grateful.

I count my blessings, naming them one by one. Naa Ameley, your birth and early days in Kumasi were incredibly eventful and extremely blessed… yes, our Kumasi days were blessed. 

Looking forward to you settling in Accra/Tema, our Ganyobi Naa Ameley… I definitely can’t wait! 

12:13am 

1st Baby Diaries || Sunday, 23rd January, 2022 || 1 calendar month, 29 days

Controlled Breathing

Controlled breathing! What a Godsend! 

Yesterday, I listened to a lady answer a question about Christian meditation and not getting involved in occultism. She mentioned she was aware that some meditative positions in yoga paid homage to other gods but she also personally benefited from meditation where she focused on her breathing. She even recommended a Christian guided meditation leader she knew of.

Weird intro to a pregnancy diary but waaaait for it! 

After suffering from painful bloating for days, I’d had enough. I’d spent the afternoon reading about a tonne of home remedies, one of them being: “just relax”. Then I remembered a friend of mine, Eyram, mentioning how breathing techniques were really useful to her during labour. 

Surely! This pain wasn’t labour but it was still terrible! I looked up labour breathing and discovered Lamaze breathing. 

Nothing scary in the write up that ran through a simple, but not fully conclusive guide for Lamaze breathing. I gave it a try and whoooooaaahhhh!!! Am I still amazed at the results! 

So it didn’t eliminate the bloating itself but after a few runs for some minutes, I instantly felt the relief of no pain. Mahhhnnn am I still happy. 🥳🥳

The joys of motherhood include victories like these. Our little Ariosua has been letting me know s/he’s there with all her/his movement, sometimes making painful bloats even more unbearable. And now thanks to something as simple as breathing, those bad pregnancy days just got a tad easier on me. Doesn’t that make us glad? 

5:02pm

- Pregnancy Diaries || Sunday, 11th July, 2021 || 18 weeks, 5 days