The Promise

 Dear Ameley,

Guess what? You’re 34 weeks today! Isn’t that something! A few more weeks and we’d see your Kung Fu limbs that have been jabbing me so much and your gorgeous smile. The one you give when you taste your Dad’s shito and stretch to show your pleasure. Yes, we can’t wait, really 😅

I have heard of promises parents made their unborn children. I’ve even see a few made to their newly born sons and daughters. I was never inclined to make you a promise… but today, tonight, I am. 

The last few weeks have been tough, Ameley. I’m not sure if it’s pregnancy-driven or pregnancy-related but either way I really want to let you know that whatever the cause or relation, it was as human as humanity gets. I wept for so many reasons, and was broken by what would normally leave me with at most a sigh. I want you to know I could have been depressed even, but I want you to know even more that there’s nothing wrong with that. It was human and part of my experience and the trigger for the responses I can be proud of today. Ameley, circumstances can and sometimes will make you sad, but what’s more important than your tears by itself is what you would do about these circumstances. And I pray that whatever you choose to do, first you will willingly choose to do it, and more importantly you will willingly choose to honour God by it. 

Mummy has some scars for choosing to honour God. She also has some sour tastes in her mouth by the same choices. But Mummy is proud to make these choices even though sometimes they seem to pierce her very soul so excruciatingly. And now, even more than ever, Mummy hopes that you come to that realisation and willingness too. God’s Word affirms to us that those who hope in the Lord won’t be put to shame. Naa Ameley, our obedience is a sign of our hope and trust in God. I pray you experience this realisation personally and choose to bear your scars of obedience without shame. 

Aside the emotional tasking, I had a fine array of physical pains! New and old! Like my arms so painful, typing normally on my work laptop was an agonising chore. Or that sciatica that made me limp back and forth to the washroom in pain with the aid of a swivel chair all night long. That was one awful awful night. The second night was easier but still bad enough to mess up my sleep. 

And don’t forget the magnitude of info I had to process and physically assist with or partake in. My move to Kumasi. Amanda and her 3-day-old baby. Grandpa being admitted at the hospital. Grandma exhausted but holding on. Amanda admitted at the hospital. Fluffy the dog being admitted. Your cousin’s, Akua’s, energy and mischief. Some personal issues I was exposed to. And then there was the constant fatigue from this 3rd trimester and then work with all its wahalas… Yhup, a whole lot! No wonder I cried… a lot… lol 

I was as human as human can be. And I wanted to be sure I noted this but also let you know I appreciate my “human-ness” in all of this. Because I want you to grow bold and confident, our Naa Ameley, knowing that no matter how you express your humanity, our angel, you can celebrate it amidst the pain and honour God even when you’re drenched in the rain. 

And this is where I promise you, Naa. I will do my very best to help you know God and willingly choose Him over all everyday. I will do my very best to celebrate who you are so there’s little need to doubt or reject who you’re cut out to be. I know we’d have our differences but I’d do my best to still celebrate your uniqueness. You’d be a special child to us and I will do my best to keep relying on God to be the mother He wants me to be to you, everyday and in every way. 

Naa Ameley, having been through these past few weeks, with me still wiping some tears, I realise how important knowing God personally does help. And I promise that as long as I live, with the ability that God gives, I would do what I can to help you find God too. 

I love you, our Naa Ameley. Never forget Daddy and Mummy love you, no matter the age you’d be. 

With lots of love, 

Your Mum, 

Ofosua 

Pregnancy Diaries || 11:12pm || Tuesday, 26th October, 2021 || 34 weeks 0 days