Help

 Celebrating the incredible end to a terrible terrible tiring week with a late breakfast in bed, the beautiful sound of heavy downpour outside and Ariosua reacting “kicking-ly” to my late meal, I think I’d add an entry to my Pregnancy diary 😊

By the way, Ariosua likes Cheerios so I’m not surprised. And it’s past 11am so I guess s/he’s happy I’ve gotten round to fixing breakfast for us. Horlicks, Cheerios, VitaMilk energy and hot and cold water 😂😂😂 surely a celebration fit for the week I’ve had! 

As usual, there’s a tonne of topics to choose from but I’d pick only one: Help.

Nowadays, I wake up with so much pain in my left arm that it’s practically useless for anything in the first hour or so. You may have no idea how thankful I am that though my right arm may not be pain-free either, it can at least open our bedroom door and get me to the washroom — and lift the toilet seat if needed. My right arm can also type in those early hours of my waking and get me to read my devotional online and sometimes catch up on messages. 

All this has made me truly appreciate and ask for help. 

I generally don’t shy away from asking for help, but one thing to know about me is, if I do ask for help then I actually need it. I may never ever ask for help if I feel I can manage on my own. No lie. I’d rather choose not to do something than ask for help to do what I can manage on my own. I love my sense of independence that much. It feels uselessly stubborn at times but I guess that’s a trait I can’t deny. Even worse, if there’s an inkling that the help I’ve asked for won’t be given, I won’t even bother. See why I call it stubborn? 

But unfortunately for this trait of mine, my life has been littered with moments I have had to ask for help, even if it seemed a bother to someone else. It’s been humbling. Especially in times I’ve been ill. And with Ariosua on the way, my word, has it been humbling! 

That’s why I can look to my painful hands in the morning and tell myself, “It’s okay to ask for help”. 

You won’t imagine the help I’ve asked for… okay… maybe you would, but I can’t imagine it because… well… I’d rather not if I could. 

Our choice to move to Kumasi for the birth is a cry for help. 

Me asking 3 different people to help me carry my bag yesterday and a greater number on Wednesday to do same when I was out of the house is help I’d barely ask for… ever…

Shall we talk about house chores? I mean basic basic house chores, not the “hard ones” I can’t even wash a mug or even a small bowl anymore because of what they do to my painful hands!! I no longer interact with or feed our dogs, and I can barely take any filled utensil off our stove. I can barely cook because I can’t stand the world of scents! 

Sometimes I can’t pick or make important calls because I’m just not well enough to so someone else has to do that for me. There are some clothes I can no longer wear without assistance. And now I have to ask for permission to catch my breath during presentations at work 🤦🏾‍♀️

Oh and there’s more. I couldn’t have managed any of the baby shopping without my cousin, Charlotte, or my Mum and Sister-in-law in Kumasi. I already hate shopping to begin with 🤦🏾‍♀️ I keep saying my perfect shop is think of a need, need automatically bought at the right price and preference, bank account deducted, need shipped to my door. Finish. That model doesn’t exist yet so I guess I still get to hate shopping 😂😂😂 

I’m unable to eat loads of stuff or go out much so specific foods are literally brought to me to get me and Ariosua going and growing well. And unfortunately too, some foods no longer exist in my house because of my aversions or they operate under the contraband goods category that are only consumed when I’m not close by. I’ve called a tonne of people (who already have incredibly busy schedules) at work to hold the fort for me as I got detained at yet another medical emergency. And did someone say baby shower? Well, that too… 

I wish I could type more instances I’ve had to stop and ask for help but it’d make this entry incredibly long! 

So today I am so grateful to everyone and anyone who’s stepped in to help me one way or the other. From my random bag holders to ones who allowed me to rant my heart out to the ones that just had simple chats with me on WhatsApp to the one who rubs my painful back. I wish I could name you all one by one, but even with counting these people in my head I’m drawn to tears… and no, this isn’t hormonally-driven tears 😂😂 they’re the tears I shed any day when I’m truly grateful. 

I would be startled if Ariosua grows to not be anything like us in this help category. I may be bad but I think Ariel is worse 😆😆😆 I may be proud if s/he’s independent and enjoys being so. (Maybe we’d get to know his/her gender today, then I can stop using double pronouns for her/him… loooollllzz!!) But I know I’d be pleased if s/he realises and keeps remembering that we are human, not islands, and it’s ok to ask for and accept help with grace when we need it. I’d be very very pleased. 

God bless everyone who’s helped me. And thank God for the honest humility to ask for help. My pregnant world would be unbearable without it! Yes, pregnancy isn’t a disease and thankfully has an end, but it’s one to get a lot of help for, and I’m truly grateful that I’m blessed with so so much from so so many places.

I’d remember this when I next see a pregnant woman… 

11:59am

Pregnancy Diaries || Saturday, 25th September, 2021 || 29 weeks, 4 days